Potatoes Tapenade

Get a few raw red potatoes and slice them. Quarter-inch slices work well.

Get some black olive tapenade. I recommend Mario brand.

Spread tapenade lightly on top of potato slices.

Put slices flat on a large, microwave-safe plate -- don't stack them -- cover with wax paper and nuke in the microwave until slices are tender.

Let them cool, and enjoy. Repeat process as needed. Makes a great potato side with any main course, or a great party snack.

How To Make Canned Pasta Taste Almost Like Restaurant Fare

This makes a cheap meal of some quality.

Cut up a green bell pepper into large wedges. Do the same with about half of a small onion. Slice a few cloves of fresh garlic. Chop up a roma tomato.

Put the veggies in a pot, add a little olive oil, then add a little red wine. Then add mixed Italian seasoning. If you don't have an herb blend, it would consist mainly of basil and oregano. Sage, fennel seed and just a little mace are good, too.

Saute until veggies are semi-crisp. Don't overcook.

Add a can of cheap pasta. I recommend Chef Boyardee overstuffed Italian sausage ravioli, but any kind will work. Mix gently. Turn heat down on stove and wait for mixture to heat all the way through.

Serve with grated Parmesan or Romano cheese, and sprinkle with crushed red peppers if you like the heat.

Pour yourself a glass of red wine, put on some classical music and imagine you're in an expensive Italian restaurant. It almost works.

Microwave Roasted Beets

Not many people like beets, but this simple approach might make you into a beet believer. Ingredients:

One large fresh beet per person, in a microwave-safe bowl.
Cooking spray, like Pam.
Butter, or good margarine without trans-fat (I recommend Brummel & Brown).
Salt and pepper.
Dill weed. (optional)

Place beets, trimmed to bulbs, in bowl, cover with wax paper or other safe microwave-containing element, but spray with a bit of cooking spray before covering. Also before covering, add a little water.

Nuke in the microwave, according to common sense. It should take at least several minutes. Test with fork or sharp knife.

When beets are tender, slice and serve with butter, salt, pepper and dill weed (if desired).

One of modern life's quick and simple pleasures. Goes great as a veggie side with any meat.

Sangrita Chaser For Tequila, Made Cheaply And Fast

This is a quick, easy way to do this. There's a better recipe, made via blender, with fresh ingredients. I will have that one for you all shortly.

Ingredients:

6 oz. orange juice, well-chilled.
6 oz. Snap-E-Tom tomato juice cocktail, well-chilled. Spicy Hot V-8 will do as a substitute. Snap-E-Tom, a Del Monte product, is hard to find.
Juice of one lime, or about that from a bottle of RealLime.
Mexican hot sauce, such as Cholula, to taste. A Sangrita is supposed to be "muy caliente."

Stir well, and make sure it's well-chilled in a tall glass.

Serve with shots of tequila and lime wedges. The chaser should be salty enough, but if your blood pressure is low, salt is optional.

Take a small gulp of tequila, (The Gulp of Mexico) and chase it with a larger gulp of the Sangrita. Repeat process, to taste.

If you want more tequila after you finish this -- well, I've never been to rehab ...

By the way, in case you care, this is a pretty traditional way that the good people of Mexico savor their tequila.

Eye-Opener 1: The Screwdriver

This drink should need little explanation.

Ingredients:
Orange juice, 6 oz. Just plain OJ.
Vodka, tequila or gin, 3 oz. No fancy labels needed.
Dash Angostura bitters (optional)
Squeeze from a lime wedge (optional)

The breakfast of champions -- if your idea of a champion is a dude with bloodshot eyes.