Bloody Bull Cocktail

I swear to you that I'm not getting any kickbacks from Del Monte, the makers of Snap-E-Tom tomato juice cocktail. It's just one of the best mixers around, if you can find it. Sometimes you have to order it online, by the case. That should last a long time, unless you swill these kinds of drinks every day (get help!)

A double bloody bull:

3 oz. vodka

3 oz. beef boullion

3 oz. Snap-E-Tom

About a teaspoon of Worchestershire sauce

About the same of lemon juice

A few drops of Tabasco or similar hot sauce (optional, depending on your heat preference)

Skip the salt -- this already has plenty. Mix with ice cubes, and enjoy. Celery sticks make a good garnish.

If you are on the wagon, skip the vodka -- in Australia, that's called a Bloody Shame.

Manifesto Joe's Beans And Franks

Another cheap, filling and tasty meal.

Ingredients:

Frankfurters, four, cut into bite-size pieces: I recommend Hebrew National 97% fat free, for reduced fat. And they taste great. But any kind will do.

A can of baked beans; popular styles are fine. A can of pork and beans will do, but try to get baked.

One medium onion, chopped

Several cloves of garlic, minced

Chile peppers, to taste. I recommend jalapenos, chopped, optional according to heat preference.

Olive oil, about a tablespoon

Spicy mustard, about a tablespoon

Celery seed, about half a teaspoon

Ketchup and BBQ sauce -- about a tablespoon of each

Worchestershire sauce, about a tablespoon

Liquid smoke, about a teaspoon

About half of a large tomato, chopped

About half of a bell pepper, chopped

One slice of bacon. Cook it first if you want less fat. Then chop or crumble.

Combine all ingredients in a pan, bring to a boil, then simmer. Add an egg and stir thoroughly if you want a thicker consistency. Simmer a bit more.

I don't recommend adding any salt to this. The primary ingredients usually have plenty.

Serve quickly, with any kind of bread or potato accompaniment you like. A beer is good with this.

Serves two. Reheats well.

Cajun Beans And Rice With Sausage

A cheap, filling and good meal!

Ingredients:

Italian sausage, sliced. I understand that they use that for "stews" in New Orleans. Andouille sausage is great if you can find it. If not, Italian will do fine, and turkey Italian sausage is leaner.

Jalapeno peppers, fresh, chopped, amount according to heat preference

Tomatoes, fresh, chopped and combined with some tomato sauce. Some ketchup is OK in a pinch, but get the fresh tomatoes in there.

Celery, chopped (same for veggies listed below)

Bell pepper

Onion

Garlic

Cajun spices -- thyme, bay leaf, sage, paprika, black pepper, etc.

Cayenne pepper and/or Louisiana hot sauce (optional, according to heat preference)

Olive oil

Red wine vinegar, just a little. Balsamic will do.

A slice or two of bacon, chopped or crumbled. Cook it first if you want less fat.

A cup or so of chicken broth

All other amounts -- use common sense

Saute all of the above until the sausage is cooked. Then add:

Can(s) of red beans, or kidney beans, drained if appropriate. Black beans also work. If you want to use dry beans, soak and cook ahead of time.

Rice, as much as you like. Brown is most healthful. Long-grain white is more traditional.

Salt, to taste. The chicken broth is often salty, so it might be best to save this for the table.

Finish with cilantro or Italian parsley, chopped. Once the rice is cooked, if the texture is too thick, thin with water.

Keep sauteeing until everything is cooked and hot. Serve immediately. It refrigerates well, reheated in the microwave.

Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the Bayou.

A Simple Way To Make Canned Tomato Soup Taste Better

Southwest cream of tomato soup

Start with a standard can (10-11 oz.) of condensed tomato soup. Mix it with one can worth of milk. Skim is fine, but others may be used for richer flavor.

Then add 8 oz. of picante sauce. I recommend Pace. This brand comes in mild, medium and hot varieties, as per your taste.

Then add a few shakes of cumin powder, and a teaspoon of minced garlic.

Blend everything well, and slowly bring to a simmer. Serve immediately.

Picante-Ranch Southwest Mashed Potatoes

Get a large, microwave-safe bowl. Then get one potato for each person you are going to serve. Some folks prefer them peeled. I say that's wasteful -- there are nutrients in potato skins. Just don't eat them every day, because they are supposed to have something that becomes toxic past a certain level, sort of like the case with cilantro.

Wash the potatoes and pierce them with a knife, then put them on paper towels in a microwave oven and nuke them until they are tender. Then put them in the bowl and mash them.

Add ranch-style salad dressing, picante sauce and minced garlic, according to taste. About a tablespoon of dressing and sauce each, per potato, and about a half-teaspoon of the garlic per potato, is a good measure. The picante sauce can range from mild to hot, according to taste.

Mix and mash everything thoroughly. If the consistency is too thick, add a little milk. Skim is fine.

Cover the bowl and contents with wax paper. Reheat until piping hot. Mix and mash again. Garnish with fresh chopped cilantro (optional). Some grated cheese (optional) is also good. Serve immediately, as a side with any protein entree and a green or other vegetable.

Don't Throw Out Leftovers: Add An Egg And Eat Them For Breakfast

Leftovers? Eat them for breakfast.

Put the leftovers in a small pan, then add an egg and anything that seems appropriate to dress up the egg.

Scramble. Serve with toast (which can also be used as a mop-up)

Waste not, want not.

Joe's Chicken (Or Tofu) Lo Mein

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon of canola oil

Several dashes of sesame oil

Asian noodles, enough to serve 2. If you can't find Asian-style noodles, a medium-thick pasta like linguini will do.

1 teaspoon Hoisin sauce

1 tablespoon black bean sauce

1 tablespoon soy sauce

Pepper, to taste

1 teaspoon Asian chili sauce, or equal amount of dried red chile. (Optional, if you don't like it hot.) I recommend the Vietnamese style of chili sauce.

1 teaspoon of sherry wine (optional, for those on the wagon). Brandy may be substituted.

2 cloves of garlic, minced

2 chicken breasts, cut into bite-size chunks. Vegetarians can substitute firm tofu, about an equal amount.

1 small onion, or half of a large one, chopped

Several mushrooms, sliced (straw or Shitake mushrooms are more traditional)

Snow peas, about a cup

Broccoli florettes, about a cup

1 stalk of celery, chopped

Half of a large bell pepper, sliced

If you like plenty of veggies, chopped carrots and fresh spinach are also good additions. Add any amount you like. Also consider the Asian standards like water chestnuts, bean sprouts, bamboo shoots and baby corn.

A teaspoon of cornstarch, mixed with water until it's a thin paste

Method:

Cook the noodles until al dente. Don't salt the water -- this dish will likely be salty enough.

Put the oils in a wok or large frying pan and heat it up.

When it's very hot, add the sauces, sherry, pepper and chiles/sauce. Heat some more. Now add the meat or tofu.

If you use tofu, this won't take long. If you're using chicken, cook thoroughly until done.

Then add all the other ingredients, and turn the heat up very high. Stir fry just enough -- the veggies should remain fairly crisp. Last, add the cornstarch mix and stir thoroughly, giving the whole thing a couple more minutes. Make sure the noodles and other ingredients are well-blended.

Serve immediately, while hot and fresh. Serves 2. For 4, double all amounts in the recipe.

For those who like it saltier, more soy sauce may be added at the table.

Speaking Of Avocados, Here's A Simple Salad That's Yum

This quick salad goes great with any entree.

1 ripe Hass avocado

1 medium tomato

1 small red onion, or 1/2 of a medium one

Olive oil, about a tablespoon

Salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste

Chop the veggies and combine all ingredients in a bowl. Mix well. If you like it hot, a few shakes of chili powder or cayenne pepper are good. If you like it not, just go with the basics. Chill. Generally serves two. Multiply ingredients by two if you're serving dinner for four.

Guacamole, kept simple and good

I've found that when it comes to good guacamole, less can be more.

This is all you need:

1 ripe Hass avocado, per person

Salt and black pepper, to taste

Now for the chile. Choose one of the three:

Muy caliente: 1 fresh serrano pepper per person/avocado, minced

Medio caliente: 1/2 fresh jalapeno pepper per person/avocado, minced

No caliente: a wedge of green bell pepper, minced

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mash/mix until you have a consistency sort of like mashed potatoes. Serve immediately. Don't make more than you can eat, and eat it all up while it's fresh. That's one of the secrets to this. You can refrigerate leftovers, but it's best fresh.

The recipe for fresh Sangrita

I'd promised this much sooner, but have been neglecting this blog. Will try to catch up.

You'll need a blender for this.

3 medium tomatoes, cut into wedges

A 6-oz. can of orange juice, or juice from 1.5 oranges

Juice of 1 lime

1/2 of a small onion, cut into wedges

1/2 a teaspoon of sugar

2-3 fresh serrano peppers (cayenne pepper or the hot sauce of your choice can be a substitute)

Salt, to taste

Put all ingredients in the blender and puree.

Serve as a chaser with tequila shots, lime wedges and salt (optional)

Note: You can also use a juicer to do this, and there will be less pith than with a blender.

Manifesto Joe's pot of red-hot Texas chili

Jack Jodell, a big bowl of this will warm you up, even on those below-zero Minnesota nights.

1 pound of very lean ground beef. Same amount of very lean stew beef works very well, too.

1 chorizo sausage, chopped or ground. A Kielbasa will do if you can't get chorizo.

1 large red bell pepper, or 2 smaller ones, chopped. Green ones are OK.

1 large can (29 oz.) of tomatoes, or 2 14-oz. cans.

1/3 cup of ketchup

1 medium onion, chopped

Several cloves of garlic, chopped

New Mexico chili powder, to taste. I recommend a lot.

Cumin powder, the same

1 teaspoon of dried oregano

Salt and black pepper, to taste. It might be wise to add table salt after cooking.

6 oz. of beer, or water

1 tablespoon of olive oil

1 large can (29 oz.) of pinto beans, and 1 medium can (14 oz.) of black beans

1 stalk of celery, chopped

1 fresh habanero pepper, finely chopped (Optional, depending on how hot & spicy you like your chili. If you want it in the medium range of heat, substitute 1 fresh jalapeno pepper.)

6-8 dried chipotle peppers, ground to powder (Also optional, depending on your heat tolerance. Use 3-4 for the medium range of heat. The ones in cans, in adobo sauce, also work.)

1 tablespoon of paprika

Cayenne pepper, to taste, for those who like it hot

1 cup of beef stock

1 thick slice of bacon, or 2 thin slices, chopped. (Optional) Fry the bacon first if you want less fat.

1/2 teaspoon of allspice

1 tablespoon of Worchestershire sauce

1/2 of a poblano pepper

Quaker oats -- amount depends on how thick you like your chili. A lot will also cut the heat.

Juice of 1/2 of a lime

Combine all ingredients, except oats and lime juice, in a large stew pot and slowly bring to a boil, then lower heat and simmer for an hour, stirring occasionally and breaking up larger ingredients like meat and tomatoes. Add oats during simmer time to thicken, or water to thin, as desired. Add lime juice near the end of cooking to sharpen slightly.

Turn off heat and let it cool a bit. Serve with crackers or warm tortillas, chopped fresh cilantro and grated Monterey Jack cheese. (Mozzarella cheese works, too.)

After refrigeration and reheating, this is even better on the second day. Try to eat it all up by the third day -- it's perishable. Or, the leftovers can be frozen. It still tastes great after thawing.

PS: Meat substitutes, in appropriate amounts, work with this, too, if you're a vegetarian. I recommend a product called Soyrizo as a substitute for the chorizo sausage. It's yummy.

A Way To Work Greens Into Your Diet

Greens -- mustard, turnip, kale, beet, etc. -- are rich in Vitamin K and many other nutrients that guard against cancer and other diseases. Problem is, not many people like them. Here's a way you might like:

Start with a steak, whatever is your pleasure. 6-8 oz. will do for each person. I usually use something leaner, like top sirloin, London broil, eye of round. Put it on a microwave-safe plate.

Cover the steak with picante sauce. I usually use Pace hot, but any kind will do, and some of you won't like it as hot.

Then layer a slice or two of processed cheese on the sauce. I usually use fat-free slices so as to cut down on the saturated fat in the recipe.

Then put a layer of greens on top of the cheese. Cover everything very well.

The wax paper is next. The reason for putting the greens on top is so that the cheese won't stick to the wax paper, or at least minimally.

Wrap a good stretch of wax paper over the plate, covering the food.

Zap it all in the microwave until the steak is done to your liking (medium-rare, well-done, etc.)

The greens should be cooked (wilted). Let everything cool a bit.

Enjoy with the side of your choice. Oh, and like, actually eat the greens. That's one of the main points of the recipe. They should taste a lot better with all the other ingredients combined.

The Stinky Sandwich

This is not for all tastes, as you will gather. But if you can get past the smell, you've got it licked.

2 slices of rye bread, toasted

Sliced limburger cheese

1 tin of sardines in mustard sauce

Mustard

Prepared horseradish

Sliced red onion

Pickle slices

Combine for a sandwich; one of the reasons to toast the bread is so you can pile it all high. Serve with cold beer (nonalcoholic if you're on the wagon).

Pasta con le Sarde (pasta with sardines)

If you really, deeply despise fish, you won't like this one. The rest of you who are more neutral might find that you really like this delicious and healthful pasta dish. You'll never regard sardines the same way.

This is a cheaper version of the traditional Sicilian recipe.

Ingredients:
Pasta, any kind. I usually use spaghetti, but macaroni works, too.
Fresh fennel, finely chopped
Onion, finely chopped
Garlic, sliced or minced
Olive oil
Tomato sauce
Fresh tomato, chopped
Raisins
Fennel seed
Italian herb blend, or basil, oregano, rosemary, etc.
Salt and black pepper, to taste. Easy on the salt is my advice.
White wine, just a splash. Dry vermouth will work, too.
A little mace (an expensive spice, but a little goes a long way)
Turmeric (the traditional Sicilian recipe calls for saffron -- but talk about expensive!)
Cayenne pepper or crushed red pepper flakes, to taste
Pine nuts, if you can find them. Optional for people like me with food allergies.
Capers
Sardines, in a tin or can, size according to how much of this you are making. Sardines in water will do. If they are in tomato sauce, use a little less of aforementioned tomato sauce.
The traditional recipe calls for fresh sardines. If you can get them, more power to you.
Anchovy filets, just a couple

Now the method:

Saute all the veggies in the olive oil, wine and seasonings. (If you found fresh, deboned sardines, saute them at this stage, too, until tender.) Cook the pasta al dente in the meantime.

Add the tomato sauce, then the sardines, if canned, then the anchovies. Bring to a simmer.

Combine with the pasta, and serve. I like Parmesan or Romano cheese sprinkled on mine. Fresh Italian parsley is a good topping, too. I recommend a good chardonnay for the wine.

P.S.: It's been suggested that smoked sardines work better for this. The traditional Sicilian recipe calls for fresh. If you can't find either, I recommend a shot of Liquid Smoke -- comes in bottles.

Also, celery with fennel seed added doesn't work too badly with this if you have trouble finding fresh fennel.

An Easy, Cheap, Good Sauce for Anything

Equal parts of:

mayonnaise

spicy brown mustard

prepared horseradish

Then add, to taste:

Tabasco or similar cayenne pepper hot sauce

minced garlic

dried tarragon leaves

Great with anything.