The Steve McQueen Cocktail

Steve may never have had one of these, but perhaps he should have. He only lived to be 50 anyway, and these probably beat laetrile.

Ingredients:

3 oz. of brandy. Cheap California stuff is fine.

1 heaping teaspoon of ketchup.

1 raw egg.

A dusting of cayenne pepper.

Mix brandy and ketchup together in a glass and chill. Then crack raw egg into mixture, and top with pepper dusting.

It's often recommended that these be swallowed with one or two determined gulps. I find them tasty, but that might not be a universal opinion.

Good hangover therapy -- again, I won't say "cure," because there's no cure for a hangover other than sleep, food and abstinence. But this will help take the sting out of a "big" night before.

Some people may have qualms about a raw egg. Do they use mayonnaise?

Postscript: Some recipes also call for a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar mixed with this. This could add some nutrients. There are also those who like a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce in theirs. Angostura bitters, a few dashes, is another additive.

Red Eye recipe

This is a variation of a drink sometimes called "red beer," but it's stronger and reputed to be theraputic for a hangover. (I'm not going to say "cure," because there's really no cure for a hangover except for food, sleep, vitamins and abstinence.) I will say "therapy" because a hair of the dog will help you endure the pain. Here goes:

6 oz. lager beer

1.5 oz. vodka

A few drops of hot sauce, Tabasco traditionally, but any will do

Top with tomato juice or V-8. 4-5 oz., with the rest, should fill a tall glass.

By some traditions, this drink also contains a raw egg. It's optional -- you may want to dodge the salmonella risk, but from experience I'd say it's very slight.

Some people also like a couple of dashes of Worchestershire sauce in theirs.

Caesar cocktail, Canadian-style

This is one of the best cocktails I can remember having. (Remembering may be the key word to this.) It's a variation on the bloody Mary, and I would say it's an improvement on it.

For a double:

2 shots of vodka or gin, 1.5 ounces for each shot.

About a half teaspoon of horseradish, the prepared kind that has no dairy content in it.

About a teaspoon of lemon or lime juice.

A few drops of Tabasco sauce or other hot sauce, to taste.

About another teaspoon of Worchestershire sauce.

A jigger (1.5 oz.) of clam juice -- or commensurate Clamato juice, if you have it. I can't drink it because it has MSG.

If you don't have Clamato or can't drink it -- tomato juice or V-8 to make up for the lack of that. As much of that as fills the glass.

Celery sticks for garnish.

Plenty of ice to chill!

Black pepper, to taste. This should have enough salt already, but that can also be added to taste.

Some recipes call for fresh clams, if you can find them.

Combine and enjoy! Best way I've ever found to get a light buzz on before dinner!

Ranch And Cheese Vegetable Medley

This was an experiment, brought on by produce and other items that were in need of use, that turned out to be a success.

Ingredients:

Broccoli, a full head, crowns only, chopped

About half of a zucchini, chopped

1 medium potato, microwaved to tenderness first

A thick slice of onion, chopped

About half of a Roma tomato, chopped

Ranch dressing, to taste (I recommend Paul Newman's. The others have MSG.)

Paprika, to taste

Salt and pepper, to taste

Jalapeno, chopped (Optional. I used one large fresh one.)

Poblano or bell pepper, a whole one, chopped

Buttermilk, to taste and for texture

Olive oil, about a tablespoon

Butter, about the same amount

Sage, to taste

1 egg

Cilantro, a small handful, chopped

Garlic, chopped, to taste

1 slice of cooked bacon, crumbled

Finish with grated Mozzarella cheese, a handful

Combine all ingredients in a pot and sautee, covered, and mix until everything is done and tender.

Easy Rosemary Potatoes

Bake or microwave one potato per person.

Once cooled a bit, mash them up in a bowl, size according to the number of potatoes.

Then add:

Rosemary. I prefer the powdered kind. If that's not available, crush the rosemary as finely as possible before adding. Amount will be to taste.

Butter. I recommend light butter from Land O'Lakes, made with olive oil. Add enough to give the potatoes a moist, fluffy consistency.

Salt and pepper, to taste.

Minced garlic, one clove worth per potato (optional).

Mix everything up very well, until a consistency of mashed potatoes is reached. If the consistency isn't what you want, a little milk will probably get it there. Keep mixing until it's got the mashed consistency. Then bake or microwave everything in the bowl until it's hot again.

Serve immediately. Goes very well with any main course.

Pasta Puttanesca (The Madame's Pasta)

They say that the ladies of the evening in Naples would have this simmering on their stoves to help lure customers. That's how this dish got its name.

Ingredients, using common sense for amounts:

Pasta, any kind you like

Tomato sauce

Garlic, minced

Anchovies

Capers

Black or Kalamata olives, sliced

Chopped onion

Italian herb blend (oregano, basil, rosemary, thyme, etc.)

Crushed red pepper flakes, to taste

Chopped veggies, any kind you like. I recommend fresh fennel.

Optional -- any kind of seafood also goes well in this sauce.

A teaspoon of white wine

Black pepper. I don't recommend any salt -- the olives, capers and anchovies will be salty enough.

Combine all ingredients, except pasta, in a pan and simmer, covered, until wonderful aroma fills your kitchen. Stir occasionally. Cook pasta until al dente, then pour sauce over pasta. Finish with grated Parmesan and/or Romano cheese and chopped Italian parsley.

The wine? As the late Justin Wilson said, "Any kind of wine you like."

Lazy Man's Frittata For One

For those unfamiliar, a frittata is sort of like an Italian version of an omelet.

Ingredients:

1 real egg, large

Egg substitute, equivalent of 2 eggs

Chopped ham, about 4 oz. Turkey or chicken breast also works.

black pepper, to taste

salt, to taste

Chopped vegetables, at least 4 oz. Bell pepper, broccoli and asparagus are examples of what will work. Tomato and onion are also good. Use one or more of the aforementioned.

1 clove of garlic, minced

A little butter or olive oil

A tiny splash of skim milk (makes the egg fluffier)

A pinch of dried oregano and/or basil

Combine and mix all ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl, cover, and nuke until the egg is done to scrambled consistency.

Top with shredded Parmesan cheese and chopped Italian parsley. Enjoy -- an especially good breakfast, with whole-grain toast. For those who like the heat, hot sauce may be added during or after cooking.

Another Meal-For-One Pork Chop, Italian-Style

Cover 1 boneless butterfly pork chop with:

About 1 tablespoon of olive oil

A couple of cloves worth of minced garlic

About half a teaspoon of fennel seeds

A roma tomato, cut into chunks

About half a teaspoon of dried basil

Salt and black pepper, to taste

About a teaspoon of marsala wine. Dry sherry will also do.

Mix everything up in a microwave-safe, shallow bowl and let it marinade in the refrigerator for an hour or more. Then microwave until the pork chop is fairly well-done.

I recommend a caesar salad and some style of potato as sides. If serving two, double the recipe amounts, etc.

A Quick, Simple Meal For One That's Yum

1 boneless pork chop. They are usually 5-6 ounces.

Put it in a microwave-safe bowl.

Add: about a teaspoon of sherry, and about a tablespoon of soy sauce. Then a pinch of salt and a pinch of brown sugar, sprinkled.

If you like it extra hot, add several chiles japones to the liquid.

Add a few cloves of garlic to the liquid, then cover with thick slices of fresh leek. About 10 will cover it. Onion slices can be a substitute. Then finish with a dusting of black pepper.

Put it in the refrigerator and let the meat marinade for at least an hour.

Then cover with wax paper, put it in the microwave oven and nuke until the pork is done and the leeks are tender.

I recommend fresh cantaloupe slices and whole-grain bread as sides. The bread is good for mopping up the sauce.

Bloody Bull Cocktail

I swear to you that I'm not getting any kickbacks from Del Monte, the makers of Snap-E-Tom tomato juice cocktail. It's just one of the best mixers around, if you can find it. Sometimes you have to order it online, by the case. That should last a long time, unless you swill these kinds of drinks every day (get help!)

A double bloody bull:

3 oz. vodka

3 oz. beef boullion

3 oz. Snap-E-Tom

About a teaspoon of Worchestershire sauce

About the same of lemon juice

A few drops of Tabasco or similar hot sauce (optional, depending on your heat preference)

Skip the salt -- this already has plenty. Mix with ice cubes, and enjoy. Celery sticks make a good garnish.

If you are on the wagon, skip the vodka -- in Australia, that's called a Bloody Shame.

Manifesto Joe's Beans And Franks

Another cheap, filling and tasty meal.

Ingredients:

Frankfurters, four, cut into bite-size pieces: I recommend Hebrew National 97% fat free, for reduced fat. And they taste great. But any kind will do.

A can of baked beans; popular styles are fine. A can of pork and beans will do, but try to get baked.

One medium onion, chopped

Several cloves of garlic, minced

Chile peppers, to taste. I recommend jalapenos, chopped, optional according to heat preference.

Olive oil, about a tablespoon

Spicy mustard, about a tablespoon

Celery seed, about half a teaspoon

Ketchup and BBQ sauce -- about a tablespoon of each

Worchestershire sauce, about a tablespoon

Liquid smoke, about a teaspoon

About half of a large tomato, chopped

About half of a bell pepper, chopped

One slice of bacon. Cook it first if you want less fat. Then chop or crumble.

Combine all ingredients in a pan, bring to a boil, then simmer. Add an egg and stir thoroughly if you want a thicker consistency. Simmer a bit more.

I don't recommend adding any salt to this. The primary ingredients usually have plenty.

Serve quickly, with any kind of bread or potato accompaniment you like. A beer is good with this.

Serves two. Reheats well.

Cajun Beans And Rice With Sausage

A cheap, filling and good meal!

Ingredients:

Italian sausage, sliced. I understand that they use that for "stews" in New Orleans. Andouille sausage is great if you can find it. If not, Italian will do fine, and turkey Italian sausage is leaner.

Jalapeno peppers, fresh, chopped, amount according to heat preference

Tomatoes, fresh, chopped and combined with some tomato sauce. Some ketchup is OK in a pinch, but get the fresh tomatoes in there.

Celery, chopped (same for veggies listed below)

Bell pepper

Onion

Garlic

Cajun spices -- thyme, bay leaf, sage, paprika, black pepper, etc.

Cayenne pepper and/or Louisiana hot sauce (optional, according to heat preference)

Olive oil

Red wine vinegar, just a little. Balsamic will do.

A slice or two of bacon, chopped or crumbled. Cook it first if you want less fat.

A cup or so of chicken broth

All other amounts -- use common sense

Saute all of the above until the sausage is cooked. Then add:

Can(s) of red beans, or kidney beans, drained if appropriate. Black beans also work. If you want to use dry beans, soak and cook ahead of time.

Rice, as much as you like. Brown is most healthful. Long-grain white is more traditional.

Salt, to taste. The chicken broth is often salty, so it might be best to save this for the table.

Finish with cilantro or Italian parsley, chopped. Once the rice is cooked, if the texture is too thick, thin with water.

Keep sauteeing until everything is cooked and hot. Serve immediately. It refrigerates well, reheated in the microwave.

Son of a gun, we'll have big fun on the Bayou.

A Simple Way To Make Canned Tomato Soup Taste Better

Southwest cream of tomato soup

Start with a standard can (10-11 oz.) of condensed tomato soup. Mix it with one can worth of milk. Skim is fine, but others may be used for richer flavor.

Then add 8 oz. of picante sauce. I recommend Pace. This brand comes in mild, medium and hot varieties, as per your taste.

Then add a few shakes of cumin powder, and a teaspoon of minced garlic.

Blend everything well, and slowly bring to a simmer. Serve immediately.

Picante-Ranch Southwest Mashed Potatoes

Get a large, microwave-safe bowl. Then get one potato for each person you are going to serve. Some folks prefer them peeled. I say that's wasteful -- there are nutrients in potato skins. Just don't eat them every day, because they are supposed to have something that becomes toxic past a certain level, sort of like the case with cilantro.

Wash the potatoes and pierce them with a knife, then put them on paper towels in a microwave oven and nuke them until they are tender. Then put them in the bowl and mash them.

Add ranch-style salad dressing, picante sauce and minced garlic, according to taste. About a tablespoon of dressing and sauce each, per potato, and about a half-teaspoon of the garlic per potato, is a good measure. The picante sauce can range from mild to hot, according to taste.

Mix and mash everything thoroughly. If the consistency is too thick, add a little milk. Skim is fine.

Cover the bowl and contents with wax paper. Reheat until piping hot. Mix and mash again. Garnish with fresh chopped cilantro (optional). Some grated cheese (optional) is also good. Serve immediately, as a side with any protein entree and a green or other vegetable.

Don't Throw Out Leftovers: Add An Egg And Eat Them For Breakfast

Leftovers? Eat them for breakfast.

Put the leftovers in a small pan, then add an egg and anything that seems appropriate to dress up the egg.

Scramble. Serve with toast (which can also be used as a mop-up)

Waste not, want not.